Historically Sensible

Issue SixIssue Six PoetryPoetry

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by Kevin Higgins


You knew for a fact, they’d never

allow a pair of mad eyes with a pistol

near the Emperor and his wife;

and when they did, knew

the war would be done

before the Christmas tree went up

in Chichester town square;

and when it wasn’t, that the Germans

must be forced to pick up the bill,

so they never did this again.

You knew for a fact, the Tsar

had a special place in the Russian peasant’s heart;

and when he hadn’t that the Bolsheviks

wouldn’t last five minutes.

And when they did, they were what

you’d been praying for all along.

Hitler was a joke with an Austrian accent

who’s never amount to anything,

and when he did, you knew for a fact

he had no interest in Warsaw, Kiev, Coventry.


You knew when the turbulence

had done its worst, the Shah

would still be sat on his Peacock throne,

looking taller than he actually was. Khomeni?

In five years’ time no one

would remember his name.

And that cowboy actor was never

going to win the White House.


The hijackers you envisaged

always landed the place

and let the passengers go.




This poem first appeared in Kevin Higgins’s 2014 collection The Ghost In The Lobby(Salmon Poetry).

To buy The Ghost In The Lobbyhttps://www.salmonpoetry.com/details.php?ID=323&a=108